Learning to be Patient

We survived it. The contractor survived it. The dog and the marriage survived it. A 10+ week kitchen renovation, the original quote stated a 5 week timeline, so yeah, right on schedule. Early on in the project I read an article where the writer said she hated when people complained about their renovations during dinner parties. I vowed to never become that person: 'It's taking sooo long, it's sooo messy, I miss my sink!'  It did take a very long time, it was messy and I missed my sink most of all. But why complain? I chose to do this. I chose to turn my home into a construction zone for the summer and we had the means to do it. Bailey the Dog made the most of it. Every morning when Michel and Vilma arrived Bailey would spend at least 10 minutes saying hello and getting all of her toys out to show them, in case they forgot what they looked like from the previous day. I made the most of learning to be patient. A very hard task, but alas, a lesson worth learning. Around the start of the project I started a free 21 day meditation challenge run by the Chopra Centre. They email a guided meditation everyday for 21 days. Easy. Sort of. I would forget a day here and there, but I learned, slowly, to not worry about it and hop back on when I could. I learned that by incorporating even a few moments of stillness before the craziness of the day began set me up for a good day. By good I mean calm and able to make a decision without crying in the middle of the night. I was still learning after all.

Through this project, I realized that my husband is one very patient man, probably the most patient person I know. At the beginning I remember saying, 'When this is done, when Michel leaves for good I want it all done! I want the window and door replaced in the kitchen. I want all the baseboards completely finished. When he walks out that door on the last day 5 weeks from now (ha!) I dont want to see him again!' Now not because I didn't like him, I like him very much, but that's how I had envisioned this project going, wrapped up in a tidy bow. All clean and ready to make the perfect dinner which then gets photographed for House and Home magazine and Lynda Reeves and Suzanne Dimma would be my new best friends. The husband set me straight: 'It doesn't work like that. It'll be done when it's done. Patience, babe, patience' Hmmm. I tried my best to work with that and continued to work at meditating everyday. Sleep came a little bit easier and the job continued until it was finished. The new window and door are coming in a few weeks and Michel is returning to do some stuff that couldn't get finished for many reasons that were beyond everyone's control. And there it is, the magic word: control. Letting go, trusting in our decisions and trusting the people by your side. Having Patience.

Here are the pics and a recipe that requires no patience at all, whip it up and enjoy guilt free!

Peachy Crispy Crumble: Baking Brains and Braun style

Inspired by: Peach Pecan Crisp featured on CBC's Steven and Chris

Ingredients

1 tbsp unsalted butter 

2 tbsp coconut sugar
1 cup pecan pieces, chopped
2/3 cup spelt flour

2/3 cup coconut sugar
2/3 cup rolled oats 
1/2 cup unsalted butter, soft
pinch salt
3-4 fresh or thawed peaches, sliced - enough to make a nice, healthy layer on the bottom of the pan (you can also use drained canned fruit and it works just as well! Use 2 14oz. cans if going this route)
1 tsp vanilla extract

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 375 F.
2. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in 8 X 8-inch baking dish by putting the butter in the baking dish and into the warming oven for a few minutes. Remove from oven and sprinkle with 2 tablespoons coconut sugar. Set aside.
2. To make crumble topping, in a large bowl, mix pecan pieces, spelt flour, the remaining coconut sugar, rolled oats, soft butter, and salt until no dry flour is left. Mixture will be crumbly.
3. Slice peaches and spread them out in baking dish over melted butter and coconut sugar combo. Do not stir. Sprinkle vanilla over peaches. Sprinkle crumble mixture evenly over peaches. 

4. Bake about 25 minutes, until crumble is lightly browned and fruit juices are bubbly. Makes 1 Peachy Crispy Crumble 

be patient until next time

tbxo

Learning to love the mailman

I used to dread getting the mail. Specifically I hated the bills that arrived. I would bring them into the house and let them pile up in neat little piles around my desk. I was never really good with money in my teens and twenties, not many people are I suppose at that age. I remember getting a Bay card with a $500 limit in my second year of University. I went crazy! I loved it, I could buy expensive cosmetics, I cleaned out the MAC counter that fall. I could buy scarves, and earrings and undies! All in one place, no cash needed! That Christmas everyone got a fabulous gift courtesy of the Bay's credit department. The bill arrived in January. My mom opened it, of course, and so began my credit shame. If you use your credit card you need to pay for it at some point. Somehow that simple fact didn't register when I received the shiny new card in the mail. Around the same time I also got a Visa card from my bank, I was a student, so it was obvious to the bank that I needed more credit. Instead of using it for textbooks, I took friends out for lunch or skipped class altogether to head downtown and shop with my equally credit savvy friend Carmody. We would come to class wearing the spoils of our trip to the Gap, thinking we were totally the shit in our new corduroys, turtlenecks and stripey scarves.  Really we were just credit card crazed students with a cash flow problem.

Now, it never got really crazy, like thousands of dollars spent at the Gap and no way to pay for it. But it did get bad, especially when the mail came. Could I grab it before my mom? Did she know? Of course she knew, because where do you think I picked up my nasty little shopping problem?  I inherited it. Shopping was a release for both of us, it was fun, it was something to do. Growing up in Saskatoon the local mall was only open late on Thursdays so we off we went and we both got new outfits! Ta da! Thursdays were awesome as a kid. And I wanted to have that feeling all the time.  But my CC debt had found me. I negotiated with my mom to help me pay it off and I would pay her back interest free. The shame of having to ask for this kind of favor was enough to curb the crazy, for a time.

But I still had this thing where I couldn't look at my bills, and I would never look at my bank balance as the little receipt was spewed out of the machine. For years this went on and the anxiety followed me when I moved to Toronto. I no longer carried a (huge) balance on my CC, I only made the minimum payment every month and then spent that, an endless cycle. I was still randomly shopping for fun, H&M had just opened in TO at this time! But, slowly, through a profitable job in a bar and some TV work I was able to pay that off, on my own. That was the beginning of my love for the mailman. Once my CC was finally paid off I decided to grow up financially, and stop shopping for fun.  I learned the fine art of Window Shopping. I started to open my bills and instead of despairing that I actually had to pay for my cell phone and internet every month I started to be grateful for those bills. I read somewhere that "A bill is an acknowledgement of our ability to pay". I was able to pay and if I didn't have the cash I didn't need the sweater, scarf, or lunch out. But I also had to realize that more money would always come in. A good friend was able to teach me this principle: money is just energy, it comes, it goes, be grateful and there will always be enough. He also taught me a great way to budget my money in order to see the surplus each month and then SAVE that surplus. It changed my life. Message me if you would like me to share it with you, its easy and being able to see how much you have in one place is a liberating feeling.  It also really drove home that fact that if I didn't have the money to pay for it at the time I didn't need it. Saving became the new spending.

So, I love my mailman/mailperson now. They bring me the bills which I know I have the ability to pay, and they also bring me my hard earned cheques. If I am ever feeling short I have a look at my bank balance and take a moment of gratitude: money comes, money goes and there will always be enough.

A good friend of mine writes a really great blog about Money and Artists and how we handle our cash flow. Marcia of the Cardinal's Nest uses the same money managing system I do. The teacher of this system is referred to as Skinny Jeans in her blog, he's a master money dude.

Happy saving, until next time

tbxo

Learning to be confident in my summer reading choices

I read a lot, of Everything. I love the heavy novels, the dramatic memoirs and a little non fiction too keep it all balanced.  But come summer and the dead of winter I want Fluff.  All Fluff, all the time.  I want saccharine and tears all rolled into one.  I just looked towards my bookcase to give you examples of my kind of fluff but I came up blank.  I seem to always give those away in yard sales or spring cleanings. We are severely judged by our bookcases.  In the past I was ashamed if anyone knew I loved the Shopaholic series, until she had the baby, then it just got stupid.  I had an Emily Griffin phase, Something Blue and Something Borrowed were gobbled up on the beach in Cuba. Eat, Pray, Love got a double showing one hot, lonely summer.  Oooh, anything by Candace Bushnell, except the Carrie Diaries, I couldn't sully my image of the ladies of NYC with teenagers which is what makes this summer's reading choice so odd to me.  I have fallen in love with a series about teenagers killing one another.  And I am not the only 30-ish woman out there.  There are millions of us, men too! I'm just really late hopping on this particular bandwagon.

My friend Laura hoisted The Hunger Games upon me this winter, along with Game of Thrones, which honestly, just give me time folks, it's a slippery slope.  So, THG sat in my bathroom bookcase  untouched for a few months.  Too much information? Shrug.  When the movie came out I decided that I needed to see it so maybe I should take a peek past the first page of the book.  I did remove it from the bathroom and found myself completely absorbed and drawn in to Katniss' world.  I was done in a couple of days and found myself needing to know what was going to happen next.  I knew I couldn't pay full price for the second book, that would just be silly.  I ventured into a used bookstore, went up to an employee and quietly, discreetly, asked her if she had the second book in The Hunger Games trilogy.  "Oh, you mean Catching Fire!",  She burst out at top volume.  "Yes, that's the one", I whispered.  "Nope", she yelled back.  By then everyone is looking at me, or maybe at her and her incredible projection.  Which made me realize: no one really cares that I want to read Catching Fire, no judgement here in this store.  Here, I was among friends.  My people.  Seeking out their own guilty pleasures at a steep discount in silence, save for the bellowing employee.  I learned that we were all there to find our next escape and who really gives a shit if anyone else thinks its silly.  I proudly walked up to the front counter at another location, asked for Catching Fire using my full voice and got it for 8 bucks!  I also purchased a copy of Annie Proulx's short story collection Close Range for balance. The third and final book in the trilogy, sigh, arrived via Amazon last week.  I was ordering a pot filler for my kitchen and I got free shipping!  Not that I need to justify my actions but the funny thing is, somehow I ordered the Large Print version, which is HUGE.  I will be a loud and proud fan of The Hunger Games at the beach this weekend!

Fluff Cookie Sandwich

Serves 2

**A little beach weekend recipe that is so unhealthy and full of sugar that I just couldnt resist.

Ingredients:

Any soft chocolate chip cookie (maybe my version from here) x 4

1 tbsp Fluff (marshmallows in a jar)

Directions:

1. Slather the flat side of one cookie with Fluff.

2. Top it with the other cookie.

3. Repeat with the other 2 cookies.

4. Grab your favorite beach book and enjoy.

**this pic is from a weekend trip biking and wine-ing in the Niagara region. The cookie on the left  actually has a nanimo bar on top of the fluff. My companions were experimenting :)

Happy Long weekend everyone, and thanks for reading

tbxo

Learning that a mortgage won't make you house poor

I honestly never thought that I would be able to own a house in Toronto. But, three years ago, with a lot of luck, a lot of help from family, friends, a clever Real Estate Agent and Mortgage Broker we moved into a home of our own. No more renting, no more crazy, naked landladies gardening out my back window.  I can garden naked in my own yard now, the yard I own! I haven't and I won't. We live in a very tightly packed downtown neighbourhood where our neighbours are very, very close. I wouldn't change it, but I am not ready to garden wearing only my boots and gloves. Sorry.

I thought that the minute we moved into the house we would never be able to leave it. That it would suck us dry financially. It did the opposite. Its seems every time we plan to open a wall my business picks up.  Now we are not rolling in it by any means but, we have learned how to spend and save wisely. The first thing we did was renovate the basement apartment in order to help with the mortgage. It was already set up with a separate entrance and we wanted a tenant in there ASAP.  We began by adding some new flooring and paint. When we went to rip up a piece of flooring to replace it we encountered mold. A lot of mold. So began the journey of the basement reno. We ripped out everything including the floor to ceiling pink tile in the bathroom. Jacobson Construction saw us through the entire project and we came in pretty much within our budget. We also remained friends with Josh, owner of Jacobson Construction, and got engaged, to each other, not Josh. Not bad for the first 6 months in a new house.


Our next project was updating the living and dining rooms and the front entryway. This included opening the stairwell wall, new hardwood floor and paint. We decided to do most of the work ourselves this time, 3 months before our wedding. So there we were, a newly engaged couple with a new dog, planning 2 separate wedding parties, a 2 week vacation in British Columbia and I was shooting a film in the middle of it all. I'm sure some people wondered if we would even make it to the wedding. Did I mention that the wedding was going to happen in the newly completed living room? Again, with a lot of luck and help from friends (who happened to be expert tilers and hardwood floor installers) everything was finished 9 days before the wedding! A small miracle and I am so grateful to all who made it happen: you know who you are.








And now the time has come for a new kitchen. The cupboards are too small, the counters are too short, and its the coldest room in the house. Plus, my husband needs a dishwasher. Another must have? More counter space for more baking!



















We did the demolition ourselves on the weekend and this week Michel and his team have moved in to start the real work. And holy crap are they awesome! Tres Bon! Ooh La La!

Baking, Brains and Braun will have to take a break from the baking side of the operation as I sold my oven and am eagerly awaiting my new one! I am going to come up with some no muss, no fuss raw desserts for us all to enjoy on a hot summer's eve. Come September I hope to share some videos from the new headquarters of Baking, Brains and Braun. Until then, please enjoy this recipe from one of my favorite food bloggers: The Raw Brownie from My New Roots.

Enjoy the sunshine, until next time 

tbxo

A fresh way to enjoy classic Mennonite Banana Bread, in a heat wave

The heat has forced me to bake: my bananas have ripened at a furious pace and making banana bread is the best way to deal with over ripe bananas. Now I could have thrown them in the freezer for later use, seeing as here in Toronto we are in the middle of a glorious heat wave, but my husband needed a snack and when a need for baking arises, I'm there!

My mom had this old Mennonite cookbook from the 1950's. The cover was already gone when I got my hands on it. It was a much loved staple of my grandma's kitchen and then my mom's kitchen. All I have ever used it for was Banana Bread from Mrs. J. Klassen.  Every recipe is signed by a Mrs. Friesen or a Mrs. Epp, or a Mrs. W. Braun. That's what I love the most about it: these women, who ran bustling homesteads in rural Saskatchewan, got together and published an amazing little cookbook that survived 60 years to make it in to my kitchen in 2012.

Mmmm . . .

The original recipe has white flour and refined sugar, both of which are not available in the Baking, Brains and Braun Kitchen! Although I have enjoyed it in its classic form for years, the recipe that follows is the version for the new me, and hopefully, you.  Now I have not made a vegan version of this, I'm not there, yet. Have you seen the documentary Forks Over Knives? Do yourself a favor and watch it. Or actually make and eat my New Mennonite Banana Bread first and then watch the doc . . . the vegan version is definitely on my to-blog-and-bake list!

Ingredients:
1/2 cup Butter
3/4 cup Coconut Sugar
2 eggs
3 ripe bananas
1 tsp. baking soda
2 cups Spelt Flour
1 cup mixed toasted nuts (walnuts, pecans, almonds, sunflower seeds)
1 cup raisins, chopped figs or dates

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Toast the mixed nuts and seeds of your choice in a dry skillet for a couple of minutes over medium heat, stirring often.
3. Mix butter, Coconut sugar and eggs until creamy.
4. Add the bananas as you sing along with the video below.
5. Add baking soda and spelt flour.
6. Fold in the nuts, dried fruit and any other goodie you may have around.
7. Pour batter into a greased loaf pan and place in the preheated oven for 50-60 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. And, I always treat my mixer utensils like popsicles,  I invite you to do the same.

Original Chiquita Banana Commercial 

Happy Baking and stay cool until next time

tbxo

Learning to Swim, again

I've decided to take on a 'Give-it-a-try-tri', a small triathlon for beginners. It consists of a 400m swim, a 10k bike, and a 2.5k run. The bike and the run, that I can conquer, not a problem. I've been running and biking for a years now, all good there. Swimming scares the shit out of me. Seriously. Ok, I may be exaggerating, I can keep myself afloat with a noodle or life jacket and I'm pretty good at treading water but that doesn't get you to the finish line in Lake Ontario. I asked if I could bring my noodle, no response.

I grew up in land locked Saskatchewan, the lakes were too cold and pools weren't really on my radar. I tried swimming lessons with other kids but decided to retire at age 7.  Nothing too sporty was really my thing. I only played softball to get my Dairy Queen treat after the game.  I've never been a fan of balls flying at my face anyway. Mainly because I knew I'd never be able to catch them.  I finally, and thankfully, discovered the value of fitness in my mid 20's when the pints and fries at Louis' Pub on campus finally caught up to me. And when my family doctor said, "Maybe you could take up running?" Point taken.

Spring 2012 Age 30ish, out of retirement

So I dove back in to lessons this spring. First, I had to get my eyelashes tinted to avoid the racoon look in the pool, a beauty must, thank you Natalia! Then I found a suit to fit my long torso, not the most fun I've had in a day, but I ended up with a pretty cute one, if you're in to the reptilian look.  Back to the lessons: myself and five other adults learning how to be kids again. And learning how to move my arms in one direction, my legs in another while breathing underwater. Right. Arms and legs got moving together pretty well, but its the breath that has proved to be the most challenging. As an actor my breath connects me to my emotions, I am my breath, when you breathe you can do anything. That all goes out the window when my head goes underwater. But I keep going back for more! What did my mom always say to me, practise makes perfect?

Ok then, here goes.

This was written in my Progress Report at the end of the 8 week session:

"Nice swimming Tricia. 

Your strokes look great and 

endurance improved a lot. 

Keep it up and have a great summer"

It felt like I was 7 years old again!

Happy Swimming until next time

tbxo

Learning to find the joy (and cookies) in grief

And I'm back! April and May were a little quiet and a little sad over here. But don't get sad for me because some wonderful things happened as a result. Cookies!

The end of April was my Mom's birthday and then Mother's Day happened. My mom died a year and a half ago. Celebrating these 2 days in the past was always a good thing filled with a lot of joy and shopping. My mom would spend the day giving herself the "Braun Girl Beauty Treatment", which consisted of bathing languidly with a coffee, maybe a book, and doing her own mani-pedi. I dont think she had the patience to pay someone else to do it. After she was all gussied up with her face on it was time to hit the mall where she would find the perfect spring outfit. In later years this outfit would be worn to Mr. Rizo's, an amazing restaurant in Saskatoon, our go-to celebration spot. I was recently there with family in May and like many things, its a hell of a lot quieter without her there.

On April 23rd this year I had my own version of her birthday. I bought new lipstick and went to a blissful yoga class and came home to these flowers and this note from my husband:

I hope yoga was good

check the freezer

In the freezer was a good old fashioned Coffee Crisp chocolate bar with another note written on the No Frills receipt that said, "save half for me".  It was perfect! And, yes, I have cut out the refined sugar and all that other garbage but every now and again it is ok, in my books, to indulge a little, Gayle would have approved. 

As for Mother's Day, I was hoping it would come and go. I got home from teaching that morning to an empty house except for Bailey the dog and CBC Radio One with Stuart McLean hosting a Mother's Day special. It was like a a car wreck, I couldn't go by without having a listen. That's when it happened, the South Saskatchewan river began to flow in my kitchen. The tears continued for a while and through it all a wee dog about knee high, sat quietly and patiently at my feet. 

When it was all over, Bailey reached for her pink bone and turned to me, ready to play. Somehow she knew I needed her there and that I too, needed to play. That night she chilled out in the kitchen where I continued to play:

I took liberty with the most amazing Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe ever, from Nigella Lawson's newest cookbook, Kitchen. I used spelt flour instead of white flour and coconut sugar instead of white/brown sugar and a mixture of cacao nibs and white chocolate chips (I didn't have anything else, and it was a baking emergency people!)

Chocolate Chip Cookies, by Nigella, adapted for me and you

Makes approx. 14 yummy cookies

Side note: Nigella is British, she bakes by weight, I was given a digital kitchen scale to use specifically with this cookbook, thank you Sue & Bob, many baking emergencies have been remedied with our new toy! Do yourself a favour and get one too, because I don't know the conversions.

150g soft unsalted butter

225g coconut sugar

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 egg, fridge-cold

1 egg yolk, fridge-cold

300g Spelt flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 x 326g package of semi-sweet chocolate chips (or whatever is in your pantry that is similar/healthier, which is the goal remember?)

*Pre heat the oven to 325 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

*Melt the butter and let it cool a bit. Put the coconut sugar into a bowl, pour the slightly cooled, melted butter over it and beat together.

*Beat in the vanilla, cold egg and cold egg yolk until your mixture is light and creamy. 

*Slowly mix in the flour and baking soda until just blended, then fold in the chocolate chips/healthy substitute - see above.

*Scoop the cookie dough up with an ice-cream scoop and plop onto the prepared baking sheet, plopping the cookies down about an inch apart. You may need to make these in 2 batches, keeping the bowl of cookie dough in the fridge between batches (out of sight).

*Bake for 15-17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. Cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to wire racks. Share generously.

this picture, it should be noted is from an earlier experiment, 
the version above got gobbled up too quickly!

So, I have learned how to laugh through my tears with the help of Bailey the dog and learned to bake my favorite cookies with coconut sugar and spelt flour, super yummy alternatives to the refined versions. Whats on your baking agenda?

Happy Baking, until next time

tbxo


ps.: I'm working on the bike fixin' and bread bakin', stay tuned!