I used to dread getting the mail. Specifically I hated the bills that arrived. I would bring them into the house and let them pile up in neat little piles around my desk. I was never really good with money in my teens and twenties, not many people are I suppose at that age. I remember getting a Bay card with a $500 limit in my second year of University. I went crazy! I loved it, I could buy expensive cosmetics, I cleaned out the MAC counter that fall. I could buy scarves, and earrings and undies! All in one place, no cash needed! That Christmas everyone got a fabulous gift courtesy of the Bay's credit department. The bill arrived in January. My mom opened it, of course, and so began my credit shame. If you use your credit card you need to pay for it at some point. Somehow that simple fact didn't register when I received the shiny new card in the mail. Around the same time I also got a Visa card from my bank, I was a student, so it was obvious to the bank that I needed more credit. Instead of using it for textbooks, I took friends out for lunch or skipped class altogether to head downtown and shop with my equally credit savvy friend Carmody. We would come to class wearing the spoils of our trip to the Gap, thinking we were totally the shit in our new corduroys, turtlenecks and stripey scarves. Really we were just credit card crazed students with a cash flow problem.
Now, it never got really crazy, like thousands of dollars spent at the Gap and no way to pay for it. But it did get bad, especially when the mail came. Could I grab it before my mom? Did she know? Of course she knew, because where do you think I picked up my nasty little shopping problem? I inherited it. Shopping was a release for both of us, it was fun, it was something to do. Growing up in Saskatoon the local mall was only open late on Thursdays so we off we went and we both got new outfits! Ta da! Thursdays were awesome as a kid. And I wanted to have that feeling all the time. But my CC debt had found me. I negotiated with my mom to help me pay it off and I would pay her back interest free. The shame of having to ask for this kind of favor was enough to curb the crazy, for a time.
But I still had this thing where I couldn't look at my bills, and I would never look at my bank balance as the little receipt was spewed out of the machine. For years this went on and the anxiety followed me when I moved to Toronto. I no longer carried a (huge) balance on my CC, I only made the minimum payment every month and then spent that, an endless cycle. I was still randomly shopping for fun, H&M had just opened in TO at this time! But, slowly, through a profitable job in a bar and some TV work I was able to pay that off, on my own. That was the beginning of my love for the mailman. Once my CC was finally paid off I decided to grow up financially, and stop shopping for fun. I learned the fine art of Window Shopping. I started to open my bills and instead of despairing that I actually had to pay for my cell phone and internet every month I started to be grateful for those bills. I read somewhere that "A bill is an acknowledgement of our ability to pay". I was able to pay and if I didn't have the cash I didn't need the sweater, scarf, or lunch out. But I also had to realize that more money would always come in. A good friend was able to teach me this principle: money is just energy, it comes, it goes, be grateful and there will always be enough. He also taught me a great way to budget my money in order to see the surplus each month and then SAVE that surplus. It changed my life. Message me if you would like me to share it with you, its easy and being able to see how much you have in one place is a liberating feeling. It also really drove home that fact that if I didn't have the money to pay for it at the time I didn't need it. Saving became the new spending.
So, I love my mailman/mailperson now. They bring me the bills which I know I have the ability to pay, and they also bring me my hard earned cheques. If I am ever feeling short I have a look at my bank balance and take a moment of gratitude: money comes, money goes and there will always be enough.
A good friend of mine writes a really great blog about Money and Artists and how we handle our cash flow. Marcia of the Cardinal's Nest uses the same money managing system I do. The teacher of this system is referred to as Skinny Jeans in her blog, he's a master money dude.
Happy saving, until next time
tbxo
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